Crystal Ball Toyota

ball ball shaped blur color
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com  

You got a fast car

But is it fast enough so we can fly away?

We gotta make a decision

We leave tonight or live and die this way

Tracy Chapman, Fast Car

 

I never said I was a patient driver.  There have been times where I *may* have used an expletive or two while driving, or even implored one of my fellow citizens to “move it along, buddy”.  I knew I had an issue when my then 2-year old son mimicked me by shouting “Ass!” and fiercely pointed to the car next to us.  Yes, that was not a “mother of the year” moment.

I like to drive defensively and even though I only go 5-9 miles over the speed limit, my friend Jaime has likened my driving to that of a cab driver.  She lived in New York City for years, so to compare me to a cabbie?  Well, she has cred.  And, I got a little secret joy when she said to our friends, “There is a different kind of Elizabeth behind the wheel”.  

Then, the pandemic hit.  

Since March, I have not been in my car regularly.  When I do get in my car, I am acutely aware of my driving and well….the pandemic has me driving like a grandma!  I am finding myself driving slowly and deliberately – and even under the speed limit at times.  Unheard of!

I think it started when I drove my son to his first orthodontist appointment in months.  I was turning left at a very challenging intersection near my home.  I thought I had plenty of room to make the turn, but a truck that was in my intended lane sped up dramatically and then slowed down to block my entry into the lane.  I had to slow way down and finally got into my lane.  My son and I were paralyzed with fear with this intentional road rage out of nowhere.

This is not the first time a Chevy truck has bullied me on the road.  You see, I drive a Prius.  Apparently, my choice of automobile ticks off several members of the truck driving guild.  I am regularly tailgated, honked at….people who are Prius owners understand. I have asked them and each person has corroborated my experience.  My husband also drives a Prius and we often wonder why our choice of car somehow insinuates how we vote or what we believe?  Did we buy a crystal ball Toyota?

When I shared my incident with my sister, who is in insurance, she noted that insurance providers are having several meetings about COVID driving – where there has been a significant uptick in speeders and aggressive driving as a result of the pandemic.  A news station in Washington, D.C. notes “In the District, AAA cited a Forbes study that said despite an 80% drop in congestion, ‘the number of speeding tickets issued has reportedly jumped by 20%, with violations for going 21-25 mph over the limit up by around 40%’” (Woodfork).

Some officials are making impassioned pleas for COVID driving to end, “Whatever impulse it is that’s motivating some uncaring drivers — with no particular place to go — to turn roadways into speedways, this must stop,” said John B. Townsend II, AAA Mid-Atlantic’s manager of public and government affairs” (Woodfork).

This is a difficult time.  Admittedly, people are finding out that loved ones are sick, that they have lost their jobs or someone in their family may have even died due to COVID-19.  Distracted and emotional driving is the residue of these painful situations.

In a way, I feel like my calm, collected – albeit slow – driving is like a victory garden.  I am contributing to the pandemic effort in keeping people safe.  And, my husband has noticed.  Just the other day, I was driving him around and he said, “Honey, I was able to read that whole article.  You are driving so smoothly.  I feel like I’m in an Uber.”  So, I have a career to fall back on…Uber driver of my crystal ball Toyota.

The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion,

 economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, 

we all believe that we are above-average drivers.

Dave Barry, Dave Barry Turns Fifty

 

Reference:

Woodfork, Rob. “‘This Must Stop’: Reckless Driving Soars amid COVID-19 Closures.” WTOP News, WTOP, 5 May 2020.

Potato Payback

Kindred Spirits Sculpture in Ireland

 

Kindred spirits are not so scarce as I used to think.  

It’s splendid to find out there are so many of them in the world.

– Lucy Maud Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables

 

 

My mom called us “Potato Irish”.  When we were growing up, she explained that her side of the family emigrated to America during the Great Irish Potato Famine between 1845-52.  At that time, a fungus attacked the potato crops in Ireland – the Irish depended on potatoes as a staple in their daily diets.  The famine resulted in whole families dying from starvation and poverty.  Wealthy landowners pushed families out of their homes and the suffering was pervasive and brutal.  It is said that “over a million people died during the Great Irish Famine, and at least a million more emigrated” (Kirwin).

Some, like my ancestors, were able to find a way to the United States.  Others were forced to stay home in Ireland and attempt to survive the crushing devastation.  American papers reported about the crisis in Ireland, which caught the attention of the Choctaw Indian Tribe in Oklahoma.  Just 16 years earlier, the tribe faced a similar type of devastation being driven from their land during the Trail of Tears, the American government’s relocation of Native American tribes causing thousands of dead citizens in its wake.  The Choctaw felt a kinship to the Irish and wanted to do something.

This desire was especially unique considering the brutality the Choctaw just faced at the hands of Irish Americans (some Irish American generals overseeing their death march, led by President Andrew Jackson, another Irish American).

The Trail of Tears left the Choctaw impoverished and struggling to rebuild.  Even though the Choctaw had nothing, they scraped up $170 – which is equivalent to about $5000 in 2020 – and sent their support to the Irish.  

Fast forward to 2020.  The COVID-19 pandemic has hit hard.  Specifically, the Navajo Nation and Hopi Reservation have experienced the highest per capita COVID-19 infection rates after New York and New Jersey.  They also are disproportionately affected due in part to their rural locations – resulting in a lack of access to testing, medication and healthcare facilities, along with significant financial burdens.  The Irish citizens heard of their plight, and a GoFundMe account circulated throughout Ireland.  The Irish Times journalist, Naomi O’Leary shared the fundraiser on Twitter. Within a month, the Irish donated over $2 million and the funds keep coming in for their Native American brothers and sisters.  

O’Leary wrote, “Native Americans raised a huge amount in famine relief for Ireland at a time they had very little.  It’s time for us to come through for them now” (Kaur). 

One of the donors from the GoFundMe page stated, “From Ireland, 170 years later, the favour is returned!  To our Native American brothers and sisters in your moment of hardship” (Kaur).

Gary Batton, chief of the Choctaw Nation of Oklahoma, said, “Adversity often brings out the best in people.  We are gratified – and perhaps not at all surprised- to learn of the assistance our special friends, the Irish, are giving to the Navajo and Hopi Nations.  We have become kindred spirits with the Irish in the years since the Irish potato famine. We hope the Irish, Navajo and Hopi peoples develop lasting relationships, as we have” (O’Loughlin and Zaveri).

What is the connection?  Why help people you have never met?  

I think it’s called humanity.

Time Magazine correspondent, Melissa Godin, speculates about the connection and its lasting impression, “The Irish and Native American people – for whom storytelling is woven into the fabric of their societies – have kept the memory of their historic bond alive” with visits, a sculpture entitled ‘Kindred Spirits’ in County Cork, Ireland, and an Irish-sponsored scholarship program for Choctaw youth.

There is so much division in the world right now.  Lines are drawn, fuses are lit and people are beyond infuriated.  The intensity is palpable.  There are certainly many wrongs to be righted in this world, there is no denying that unfortunate truth.  But I would like to propose a different take, based on the Irish and the Native American’s model.

Could we, as a collective human race, become compassionate archaeologists?  Is it possible to take a deeper dig into the past and retrieve what was right about the past – much like the Potato Famine example – and replicate those past rights?  Call it the Potato Payback.

One donor put it best, “You helped us in our darkest hour.  Honoured to return the kindness.  Ireland remembers, with thanks” (Kaur). 

 

The hand of benevolence is everywhere, stretched out, searching into abuses, righting wrongs, alleviating distresses and bringing to knowledge the sympathies of the world the lowly, oppressed and forgotten.

– Harriet Beecher Stowe

 

References

Special thanks to Jaime Pollard-Smith for the inspiration.

Picture:  Borrowed from Pinterest.  Kindred Spirits sculpture in County Cork, Ireland. 

Kindred Spirits is a large stainless steel outdoor sculpture in Bailick Park in Midleton, County Cork, Ireland.

Kindred Spirits commemorates the 1847 donation by the Native American Choctaw People to Irish famine relief during the Great Hunger, despite the Choctaw themselves living in hardship and poverty and having recently endured the Trail of Tears

The sculpture consists of nine 20-foot (6.1 m) stainless steel eagle feathers arranged in a circle, no two feathers being identical, forming a bowl shape to represent a gift of a bowl of food.  It was created by Alex Pentek at the Sculpture Factory in Cork, Ireland, with assistance from students of the Crawford College of Art and Design, and installed in Bailick Park in 2015. The memorial was commissioned by Midleton Town Council, and was officially unveiled and dedicated in June 2017 by Chief Gary Batton, Chief of the Choctaw Nation, Assistant Chief Jack Austin Jr., and Councillor Seamus McGrath, County Mayor of Cork, accompanied by a 20-strong delegation from the Choctaw Nation. (Wikipedia)

Citations:

Carroll, Rory. “Irish Support for Native American Covid-19 Relief Highlights Historic Bond.” The Guardian, 6 May 2020, https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2020/may/09/irish-native-american-coronavirus-historic-bond.

Godin, Melissa. “Irish Donors Are Helping a Native American Tribe Face the Coronavirus Crisis. Here’s the Historical Reason Why.” Time, May 2020, https://time.com/5833592/native-american-irish-famine/.

Kaur, Harmeet. “The Irish Are Sending Relief to Native Americans, Inspired by a Donation from a Tribe during the Great Famine.” CNN, 6 May 2020, https://www.cnn.com/2020/05/06/world/ireland-native-americans-choctaw-gift-trnd/index.html.

“Kindred Spirits.” Wikipedia, 6 May 2020, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kindred_Spirits_(sculpture).

Kirwin, Padraig. “How a Small American Indian Tribe Came to Give an Incredible Gift to Irish Famine Sufferers.” The Conversation, Aug. 2018, https://theconversation.com/how-a-small-american-indian-tribe-came-to-give-an-incredible-gift-to-irish-famine-sufferers-98742.

O’Loughlin, Ed, and Mihir Zaveri. “Irish Return Old Favor, Helping Native Americans Battling the Virus.” The New York Times, 5 May 2020, https://www.nytimes.com/2020/05/05/world/coronavirus-ireland-native-american-tribes.

 

Pandemic Perspectives

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To laugh often and much; To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; 

To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.”

-“Success” by Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

My great-grandmother, Lavina Towner Emigh, died on December 13, 1918 during the influenza pandemic that ripped through our country.  My grandmother was 4 years old at the time and used to tell us stories about her. I wish I had listened. The arrogance of my youth whispered nothing like that could happen to me.

Yet, here we are.

In 1918 and 1919, the Spanish influenza killed 550,000 people in the United States and 20 to 40 million worldwide (Montana Historical Society).  When news outlets call the COVID 19 pandemic “unprecedented”, I have to think our ancestors are laughing at our hubris.  There have been pandemics in the world before this one. And, there are unique parallels of the emotions and feelings captured in the archives of survivors’ first-hand accounts of the day.

A Charlotte Ledger article entitled “Charlotte’s Other Big Pandemic” exposed the myth of our current reality as ‘unprecedented’ in a recent article.  Author Tony Mecia introduced us to Lauren Austin and her groundbreaking doctoral thesis, “Afraid to Breathe:  Understanding North Carolina’s Experience of the 1918-1919 Influenza Pandemic at the State, Local and Individual Levels.”  The thesis features voices sharing eerily recognizable accounts. And, we have the chance to learn some lessons from the past:

The words of Professor William Cain, professor of mathematics and engineering at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill still ring true.  This excerpt was a letter written to his sister in October, 1918:

“I can only infer from your letter that one of you has caught ‘The Flu’, though I wrote you to tell me definitely, for B. Jr. has been in great danger.  I do not like her exposing herself continuously. As I write you, Drs. MacNider and Mauquess both caught it in spite of masks on, Mauquess having a relapse after 10 days from going out when he thought he was well” (Austin 223).

His letter continues with a stern warning:

“If any of you get symptoms, don’t do as I did (work on), but go to bed and stay there.  I did lie down for four hours every evening and took no walks” (Austin 223).

In Wisconsin, circulars were distributed to residents in October 1918 to urge them to stay in bed:

“Every case of influenza should go to bed at once under the care of a physician.  If you get a cold, go to a well-ventilated room. Do not kiss anyone. Patient should stay in bed at least 3 days after fever has disappeared…The great danger is pneumonia.  The patient must not cough or sneeze except when a mask or handkerchief is held before the face. The after-effects of influenza are worse than the disease. Strictly observe the state and city rules and regulations for the control of influenza” (Wausaw Record Herald).

The woman’s committee of the Council of Defense in Wisconsin was asked to help by visiting the sick:

“They were told to warn all members of afflicted households to wash their hands frequently and not to use eating and drinking utensils in common. All dishes should be thoroughly cleaned, all rooms kept clean and well ventilated and handkerchiefs, towels and linens used about the sick boiled or destroyed” (Capital Times).

They also had restrictions similar to our Stay-At-Home orders:

“Also not to spread or contract the disease from their neighbors by unnecessary calls or neighborly visits, nor by allowing children from various households to mingle on the streets or the premises.  The police have been ordered to keep a close lookout for all children found playing on streets or on premises other than at their own homes” (Wausau Record Herald).

The loneliness of Stay-At-Home orders was illustrated an interview with a Montana survivor of the 1918-19 influenza pandemic:

“People would come along, and young men, nineteen, twenty years old…And they’d stop and say hello to us. My mother was very friendly. She loved to see those people. She was kind of lonesome there, you know, just us kids and her. So when anybody passed by, she always stayed with them. And, you know, maybe a week later, they’d say so-and-so died, and they had been past our place. So many people had that flu, and young people, and they died” (Montana Historical Society).

Yet, through despair, survivors remember helping each other.  Edna Register Boone lived through the 1918 pandemic in Alabama:

“I was 10 years old and my family was the only family in the little town that did not contract the flu. Therefore, my parents became automatic nurses. They nursed every family in town. It was my job as a 10 year old to take food to people, to families, all of them stricken. Mama would put a gauze bandage around my face and she kept sterilized fruit jars on the stove at all times. She would fill the jars with soup or whatever there was, and I would take those jars to the home of an afflicted family, knock on the door and leave the food at the door for someone to come pick it up. It was not a pretty picture…No one was able to go shopping. No one was able to cook. They could bake a few potatoes, even if it was in the fireplace. I knew I had to participate. I knew that my family was being protected. I knew I had to do my part” (Alabama Public Health). 

My daughter Colleen is 10 years old and my son is 14. Contrary to Ms. Boone’s experience, they are living pretty well- albeit missing their family and friends.  I cannot imagine having my daughter or son deliver food to the sick at this time. However, we are helping local charities from a safe distance.

Apart from staying at home, most survivors were asked for their advice on how to survive a pandemic, if it ever happened again.  Garfield Johnson of Alabama gave some good advice:

“Well, you know, most folks don’t try to have a garden. I say it’s better to have it and not need it than it is to need it and not have it. Me and Harriet got three deep freezers and we’ve got them partly full. We give to the young ones – share it one thing and another (Alabama Public Health).”

The Saratogian, Saratoga Springs, N. Y. Sat. 14 Dec 1918

Mrs. [Lavina] Starr Emigh, aged thirty-two years, died at her home in Locust Grove [Town of Greenfield, NY] at 12:30 o’clock yesterday [13 Dec] afternoon following a short illness of influenza. She is survived by her husband and 8 small children; Zilpha, Burtis, Vina, Beatrice, Elsie, Lena, Dorothy and Alice; 1 sister, Mrs. Howard Emigh of Milton; 3 brothers, Thomas and Jerome, who are in the United States service; Clarence of Burgoyne; and several nephews and nieces.

Funeral services will be held Sunday afternoon at 2 o’clock at the late woman’s residence. The Rev. R. D. Andrews of Greenfield Center will officiate and burial will be at Greenfield Center.

Five of the young woman’s surviving children are also seriously ill with influenza.

 

Special thanks to The Charlotte Ledger, The Saratogian, Lauren Austin, oral histories shared by the Montana Historical Society, Alabama Public Health and the archives of the Capital Times and Wausaw Record Herald of Wisconsin.

 

 

79

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As mothers and daughters, we are connected to one another.  My mother is the bones of my spine, keeping me straight and true.  She is my blood, making sure it runs rich and strong.  She is the beating of my heart.

                                                                                        -Kristin Hannah

Mom would have been 79 years old today. 

I was feeling melancholy, remembering her special day would be coming and I found myself thinking about her hands. 

Mom’s hands were strong.  She could open up any jar in the house.  She was a dental hygienist for 40 years, so her hands were battle worn.  They worked in tight places all day long with sharp instruments and lifted heavy x-ray aprons.

Her strong hands were the only ones I wanted to rub my back when I was sick. When I had severe asthma growing up, her hands would pound on my back.  This was not an abusive situation. These were the 1970s where there were no inhalers like we use today. Mom’s hands methodically thumped on my back to release the pressure in my lungs and allowed me to breathe.

One day in elementary school, my teacher called me “dummy”.  Although this condemnation would hurt any child’s feelings, the wound was deeper because I had always liked this teacher for her hands.  They were like my mother’s. When I cried that night in my mother’s arms, I remember her saying, “No, honey. Our hands are different. Mine are the ones that are smacking her in the face for saying such a thing to a child.”  Always the fierce Irish mother.

I am not the only one that reveres her mother’s hands.  Fanny Singer, daughter of renowned chef Alice Waters, recounts memories of her mother’s hands in her memoir, Always Home:

“One of the most distinctive things about my mother is her hands, though I would imagine that the hands of anyone’s mother would seem distinctive to them.  Those are the hands, after all, that soothe us through so much of our childhood, that change our diapers, and swaddle us and hold us, and comb our hair, and apply unwanted sunscreen and antiseptic and band-aids.”

Singer also commented about the strength of her mother’s hands, “But, there is also something in the strength of her fingers – whether it is innate or from the years of kitchen work – that I find especially unusual.  In this, her hands are a sort of mirror of her determination.”

The author’s reverence for her beloved mother’s hands are surprisingly the same as mine:  “But if there’s a portrait of my mother’s hands that is most etched in my mind, it is the way she holds a piece of fruit as she deftly slips the skin from its flesh….The finger-feel, the knowledge in her fingertips, strikes me a singular, though I know it is the gift of many chefs:  determining the difference between lusciously yielding flesh and a fruit that is over the hill.”

My mother and I had similar hands and feet.  A bit of useless trivia, for sure. But when we were in hospice with Mom and the nurse asked us to continuously check to see if her hands or feet were turning blue – that would be an indication that the end was near- I couldn’t help seeing my own hands and feet.  Part of me was dying in that bed right along with her.  

That scene lead me to write this poem:

Heartbeat (Hands, Feet in Drumbeat)

Same hands,

Kneading meatballs together 

Same feet,

Walking in the sand

 

Same hands,

Waving goodbye, leaving for school

Same feet,

Strolling through London

 

Same hands, 

Admiring wedding bands

Same feet,

Fatigued from dancing

 

Same hands, 

Holding chubby baby hands

Same feet,

Running through the grass

Different hands, 

Full of IVs

 

Different feet,

Running through the ICU

 

Different hands, Different feet, 

Turning blue

 

Different hands, Different feet, 

Saying this final farewell

 

Different hands, different feet

Different…

Happy birthday, Mom.  I will miss you and love you forever.  You and your beautiful hands.  

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Excerpt from:  Singer, Fanny. Always Home. Knopf, 2020.

Drawing:  Special Bunny from Gail Adinolfi